Pre-Wedding Rituals

1. Drawing up the Marriage Agreement

   1. Once the match is finalised, a private function is held to draw up the marriage agreement. On an auspicious day priests from either side meet in the groom's house and the two parties exchange the marriage agreement. The agreement is placed on a plate alongwith bananas, coconuts and betel leaf.

   2. The terms of the marriage too are announced by the parties and accepted.

   3. Usually the girl is presented with a silk sari by the groom's family and the groom clothes or cash in lieu.

   
   

2. Paalikali Thalippu/ Karappu

   1. This ceremony is performed by the bride's family a couple of days preceding the wedding.

   2. To the accompaniment of songs and music (Gauri Kalyanam), special clay pots are decorated with sandalwood paste and kumkum powder. A little curd is placed in each pot and nine types of grains nava dhaanyam, are sprinkled in these pots and watered by five or seven married ladies from both sides. These ladies are given gifts.

   3. After the wedding, on the next day, these pots are thrown into a nearby pond or water tank by the bride and groom . By this time, the grains have sprouted. It is believed that the fish in the water will eat the sprouted grains and then bless the bride and the groom.

   
   

3. Sumangali Prarthanai

   1. There is a belief among the Hindus that is auspicious if a wife dies before her husband. Such women are called sumangalis. Both the families pray to the souls of sumangalis to ensure that the bride also has the good fortune to be called away while her husband is yet alive.

   2. The ceremony is held before the wedding at the bride's place and after the wedding at the groom's. It basically included inviting a number of married women to a feast and gifting them with presents usually saris.

   
   

4. Kalyanapunnu/Kalyanappillai

   1. This is a bathing ritual, a small private function. It is performed separately in the bride's and the groom's house by their respective parents, usually on the Friday preceding the wedding.

   2. A 'peedi' or wooden seat is placed in front of a kolam. The girl is given an oil bath with til sesame oil. She is gifted a green sari. After her bath she wears that and green and red bangles. The bride's mother gives her the entire trousseau. After this ritual the girl is confined to the house till her marriage.

   3. In the groom's house the father pours oil on the groom's head and gifts him clothes and toiletries. The boy too is then confined till marriage.

   
   

5. Receiving the Groom and Family

   1. The arrangements for the marriage celebrations are made by the bride's family.

   2. The groom's party arrives the day before the marriage.

   3. Amidst loud sounds of Nadaswaram (music), the groom's party is ushered in with a tray containing offerings of flowers, paan supari, fruits and mishri (sugar nuggets).

   4. The bridegroom himself is welcomed by sprinkling rose-water.

   5. The bride's brother applies a tilak of sandalwood paste and kumkum on his forehead and garlands him with flowers.

   6. The bride's mother welcomes the groom by feeding him mava (a sweetmeat made of thick condensed milk) from a new vessel and garlanding him. The groom's mother distributes the mava among the relatives.

   7. Older married ladies perform an arti.

   8. The bridegroom's procession is then escorted to the rooms they will occupy till the marriage ceremony is over.

   9. In a room, with the exception of jewellery, the bride's parents keep all the gifts given to the bride. The bride's family hands over the keys of the room to the groom's family.

      
      

   10. Vritham

       1. A ceremony is performed to ensure that the marriage takes place without any hitches/problems.

       2. Traditional Vedic hymns are recited by the parents of both, the bride and the groom, officiated by a priest (Vaadyar) asking for blessings of the family deity and all their ancestors so that the marriage takes place peacefully and correctly, without any hitches.

       
       

   11. Naandi Shraartham

       1. As a symbol of the souls of the ancestors of both sides, eight or ten Brahmins are invited. The two families seek their blessings and honour them with gifts of paan-supari, fruits, flowers, coconuts, sweets and dhoti-angavastram (clothes).

       
       

   12. Janavasanam

       1. The bridegroom's party goes to a nearby temple in the evening.

       2. The bride's party reaches there carrying 5 varieties of sweets/namkeens and clothes for the groom. One of the sweets must be the traditional conical sweet Parupputenga.

       3. After giving the gifts, the marriage party is brought to the bride's home for the engagement ceremony.

       
       

   13. Nicchiyadharatham

       1. With the parents of the bride, the priest performs Ganesh Pooja.

       2. The bride is asked to come out and sit in the venue.

       3. The groom's party gives the bride a new sari. Then the bride is seated and a tilak of chandan and kumkum is applied to her forehead. The pallav of her sari is filled with fruits, paan supari, turmeric, kumkum, coconut and flowers and tied around her waist. An arti is performed for her.

       
       

   14. Mangalasnanam

       1. Early in the morning of the wedding day, an auspicious hour (muhurtam) is chosen for a ceremonial bath for the bride and the groom.

       2. The bride and groom sit on low wooden stools around rangolis. The bride and the groom sit separately between their respective parents.

       3. The bride and the groom are anointed with turmeric, kumkum and oil. The ladies perform arti.

       4. The bride's mother gifts a 9 yard maroon sari to the bride and a dhoti to the groom both to be worn for the actual wedding ceremony. Then the bride and the groom go to their respective homes to bathe and dress.

       
       

   15. Gauripooja

       1. After bathing and dressing up, the bride prays privately to Gauriamma.

       
       

   16. Kashi Yatra

       1. This is a playful ritual with the groom pretending to get angry and threatening to go to Kashi on a pilgrimage.

       2. He carries a walking stick, an umbrella, a fan, a coconut, a small packet of rice and dal, and a dhoti.

       3. The bride's parents plead symbolically, with the groom to come back to their daughter who is praying for him. The bride's brother wooes him back offering his sister's hand in marriage.

       4. The groom is then escorted back by the bride's brother shading him with the umbrella.

       
       

   17. Padapooja

       1. On his return the groom is seated and the mother of the bride washes his feet in water, chandan and kumkum in a brass vessel.

       2. She then calls the bride who is brought in by her maternal uncle.

       
       

   18. Exchange of Garlands

       1. The bride and the groom exchange garlands three times.

       2. This ceremony is also associated with lighter moments when the bride is teasingly pulled away as the boy reaches out to garland the girl.

       
       

   19. Oonjal

       1. The bride and the groom are then made to sit side by side on a swing.

       2. Small balls of cooked rice, coloured yellow and red with turmeric and kumkum are lightly dipped in milk, which is sprinkled on the bride and groom's feet. Married ladies, from the bride's circumambulate the rice balls around the bride and the groom thrice in clockwise and anticlockwise direction and then throw them in all four directions to prevent evil forces from creating any hitches.

       3. A mixture of milk and banana is given to the bride and the groom.

       4. The older women holding alternately, a lamp and a water urn, circumambulate the couple. This is done three or four times. Amidst all this, Oonjal Pattu songs specially worded for this occasion are sung.